In the UK, 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence and abuse in their lifetime.
But, society’s attitude towards victims of domestic abuse still places the responsibility upon the victim.
You can often hear people ask: ‘Why did they not just leave?’, ‘It’s their own fault for putting up with it’ or ‘After the first time, why did you not run?’.
To ask these questions, shows a lack of understanding of domestic violence and abuse and the victims.
Nicola Whitley, domestic violence solicitor at Swain & Co says, “The barriers that victims of domestic violence and abuse face are complex.”
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The victim may fear for their own safety and that of their children
Victims are at greatest risk of homicide at the point when they leave their abusive partner. They may be at risk of additional domestic abuse such as harassment and stalking once they leave.
The abuser may also threaten to harm children in the relationship, or threaten suicide, making the victim feel frightened and guilty.
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The victim may not know where to go for support
Often the perpetrator isolates victims from their friends and family through intimidation.
The victim may distance themselves from their family to hid the physical marks of abuse.
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Victims lack self esteem
The victim may believe that the domestic violence and abuse is their fault.
The perpetrator is likely to blame the victims saying ‘you made me do it’.
The victim is constantly put down and become anxious and uncertain of their self.
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Victims hope things will change
Despite the abuse the victim may love their abusive partner and believe in their promises that they will change.
Nicola says, “It is not easy for victims of domestic violence and abuse to just leave. But, the message is clear: You don’t have to suffer violence in silence.”
Nicola runs Swain & Co.’s domestic violence and abuse department, which offers a drop in clinic every weekday from 09.00 – 17.00 at 3-5 South Street, Havant.
We also have a 24/7 emergency text and call number so you can call or text us as and when you are able to: 07435 969798