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Relationships with parents linked to your age when they divorce

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Experts have found that people whose parents divorce within the first few years of their life are more likely to have poor relationships with their parents than those who experience parental divorce later in life.

It was discovered that those with divorced parents were less likely to view their relationships with their parents as secure.

But, those who experienced parental divorce from birth to the ages of three to five-years-old were more insecure about their current relationships with their parents than those whose parents divorced later in their childhood.

Dr Chris Fraley, from the University of Illinois, and a graduate student, Maria Heffernan, examined the timing and effects of divorce on both parental relationships and romantic ones. They also looked at the differences in how divorce affects relationships with mothers compared to fathers.

In the first study, the researchers analysed data from 7,735 people who took part in a survey about personality and close relationships.

Over 1/3 of the participants’ parents were divorced and the average age at the time the divorce occurred was nine.

It was found that of those with divorced parents tended to have greater insecurity in their relationship with their father than with their mother.

Dr Fraley and Ms Heffernan then repeated their analysis with a new set of 7,500 participants to help explain why divorce influences paternal relationships more than maternal ones.

They found that most participants(74%) lived with their mothers following divorce or separation, 11% lived with their fathers and the rest lived with grandparents or other guardians.

Therefore, the study found that people were more likely to have an insecure relationship with their father if they lived with their mother and those who lived with their father were less likely to have an insecure relationship with him. The results were similar in respect of mothers.

Researchers say that the findings are important as it shows that divorce does not have a blanket effect on children, but it also shows that living arrangements and the amount of time a child spends with a parent can shape the quality of the child-parent relationship.


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